human butterball

When I first took this picture of our gray fuzz ball (also known as Stacy), my first thought was, ''Does this fur make my butt look big?''

Stacy was probably busy lounging and dreaming of Temptations Treats and sharpening her claws on the nearest rug (and of course, ice cubes - her #1 obsession). The last thing on her mind was the potential of having a big kitty gut - after all, she could always blame it on the fur, right?

I have heard pregnant women complain before about their baby bumps making them look and feel 'fat'. Before I earned the status of 'pregnant woman', I often thought it seemed silly to feel that way when everyone knows your belly is being overtaken by another human at this time.

I can understand a little more now why these mothers-to-be feel this way -- it must be a complete shock to have unwanted weight on their bodies for (in some cases) the first time. These women are forced immediately into ''chubbyville'' without the usual running (and then walking, barely breathing) down the (non)graceful, long term path for years toward full on obesity. Of course, like I said, their new-found weight obviously is completely different from the blobby stuff that causes doctors to scald you with every lift of the fork at the dinner table.

For me, I am well acquainted with extra weight. It is nothing new to me to plop down on furniture and wonder if it is screaming back at you in agony. I know that rolls are not only something on the dinner table, and I learned the physics of friction during adolescence through thighs rubbing together while walking. Yes, I know fat and what it is to be fat.

I live it.

And yet - that massive number (can I even count that high?) on the scales seems to stay the same, or even decrease, despite the tiny 4.5 inch offspring inside of me. For the first time in my life, my belly is expanding without suffocating myself with cookie after cookie or making a donation to the gym (after all, it is a donation if you pay them money but don't use the facilities). The fact is, my belly will continue to get bigger for several more months, and for once, that makes me happy (when the pregnancy hormones don't make me feel ugly)!

So why even care about looking fatter when I am already in the making for a future Wal-Mart motorized scooter user? I really don't know except for the fact that it never feels good to look even more fat.

I have mostly been poking fun, but the truth is, I would rather look like the biggest human Butterball turkey every day for the rest of my life than to not have this little baby growing inside of me. So many women in the world today long to have children of their own but are unable to conceive, and when I think of the not so pleasant parts of pregnancy, I think of those women and how most of them would gladly deal with the worst parts of pregnancy if they could just have a child.

Pregnancy is not a right granted to us; it is a privilege and gift given to us directly by God. For that reason, everything we experience as a result of pregnancy - the good and the bad - is reason to give thanks back to God. At first, I was wishing away my ever-so-present sickness, but I have come to realize that this is a blessing (though not a fun one) instead of a curse. Due to already extreme weight, my weight gain during pregnancy needs to be very minimal. Getting sick often (and a lack of appetite) has kept my weight the same for the first four months. So basically, the crazy things baby has been causing to happen to my body have been helping me out. Hopefully that is a sign that baby will like helping other people. =)

So next time I ask Matt, ''Does this baby make me look fatter?'', he can remind me that (while yes, it does) the baby is just one of the many blessings God has granted us.

P.S. We find out in two weeks if we are team blue or team pink!