one man's junk is still just junk

It's no secret.

I am a hoarder. I hoard everything. Books, plastic bags, papers, craft supplies, nail polish, lotions, cards, clothes in a million sizes - everything.

The friend who was supposed to be our guestbook / program attendant at our wedding was a no show, so most people didn't receive a wedding program, which means I still have over 100 of them. What am I going to do with 100 wedding programs? Nevertheless, they are here.

And my biggest ... receipts. I believe receipts spawn from other receipts in our house. They appear in the strangest places, yet I insist every one of them be kept.

Before a recent visit from my parents that I was unaware of until the day before their expected arrival, my mom remarked, ''I know you are a slob. We are used to it. You don't have to clean for us,'' when I remarked that I hadn't cleaned the house yet.

I would like to think that ''slob'' is just a less fancy word for ''hoarder''. The truth is, when my sweet husband helped me clean out my bedroom and pack before we got married, we threw away at least 11 garbage bags full of junk - remnants of 26 years worth of hoarding.

I used to call my style ''organized clutter''. However, I think the organized part went out the window ages ago.

I am unsure of when all of this began for me, but I do recall hoarding things as a child. Does anyone remember Lisa Frank stickers and school supplies? Here is a picture I found online to remind you ...



I always thought Lisa Frank stuff was SO COOL! I remember conserving my stickers and pencils. I would use up other stuff not as cool as Lisa Frank items, but I lost interest before I ever used most of any of it. I was like this with other things as well. Craft sets for kids, such as those sand sculpture kits where you could layer different colors of sand in plastic bottles. I would be sure and not use it all up at once to make it last. Yet again, many years later when I was clearing stuff off a shelf in the closet, there was the majority of the sand sculpture kit saved up for a future use that never came.

As part of my hoarder mentality, I truly am a slob too. I have always hated chores (don't most people?), and I am sure my parents got tired of constantly nagging me to clean my room, empty the dishwasher or whatever the case may be. I have perfected the notion of putting things off as long as possible. It is good that we have guests every now and then, otherwise, our house would be disastrous more often.

Despite my slobby hoarding nature, I do admire and enjoy when the house is all cleaned up. It somehow creates a more relaxing environment. A sense of pride comes along with being a homeowner or at least living in a space that you (and/or your spouse) are solely responsible for. And I find myself now concerned with things related to keeping the house clean that I used to think my parents were silly for caring about. Chores don't seem to be quite the headache they used to be.

I still hate cleaning toilets.

And I still have to keep my receipts.

Some things just won't change.