my fairground attraction

 

This song will be used throughout this post. "Allelujah" by Fairground Attraction. 

Six years ago today, my life changed completely in one single day and was never the same again. 

A 21-year-old college senior, I was in love with a guy but too shy to tell him so. I would later find out that his shyness and fear of rejection kept him from speaking his heart as well. 

I see you every day 
I watch as you walk down this way 
We pass on the stairs of this council block 
Too shy to find words to say 

He and I enjoyed each other's company at the state fair, laughing together, playing fair games, and looking at exhibits. I longed so badly to tell him how I loved him but had never used those words in a romantic way before and was unsure what he would say. I never got up the courage to tell him in the few hours we spent at the fair.

As he walked me to my car in the parking lot across the street from the fairgrounds, I knew I couldn't let this day pass by without telling him how I felt. 

But your smile is a prayer that prays for love 
And your heart is a kite that longs to fly 
Allelujah, here I am 
Let’s cut the strings tonight 

As he hugged me to tell me goodbye, I said "Matt?" with my head pressed against his shoulder. He said, "yes?" And in a quiet whisper, I said, "I love you." He immediately squeezed me up tighter and said, "I want you to know that you are loved too!"  He then told me that he wanted to kiss me. And thus began the first kiss with a lifetime of kisses to follow.

So meet me on the corner at eight 
Let’s get out of this place  
We’ll kiss the first of a million kisses 
And let the past fall away 

It may seem silly to anyone other than to Matt and me, but those three words changed us both in a way I never thought possible. We started the day as two shy, insecure individuals. We emerged from the tough shells of protection we had built up around ourselves and revealed our hearts -- we no longer possessed the fears of rejection and felt we could truly be ourselves and comfortable in our own skin.  

Here we were about five years ago outside of Calhoun's. We only have
a couple of pictures of us from the fair, but that was before either of
us had digital cameras, so this is the best I can do. :-)

Here we are now -- with a little extra cargo about to join us.

"Allelujah" by Fairground Attraction (convenient band name, eh?) has been our song ever since that day because it describes the beginnings of our relationship perfectly. Two people who are too shy to say how they really feel, despite longing to be set free by expressing those feelings. They realize it is time to no longer let the past hold you back and to cut the strings of the kite and soar. That was us. After that day, we realized how important it was for us to have gone through that experience -- to be vulnerable enough to face potential rejection in order to speak our hearts.

It is amazing how such a simple experience can be monumental in your life and pivotal to the progression of events. From that moment on, the shells were completely gone, and we never looked back. Our love grew and grew from that first little seed and blossomed into the bond we are united in today. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think back to the sweet smile on his face and the genuine love I saw in his eyes after he kissed me. That was truly the beginnings of the foundation for our unification, and I knew then I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Five years later ... well, I will tell you more about that in two days. :)