those people

Matt and I have become those people. You know ... those people.

The couple behind you at Texas Roadhouse with the crying rugrat who you keep turning around to eye with looks of displeasure. Those people.

The daddy vigorously rocking a snorting baby back to sleep on the church pew in front of you during the sermon. Those people.

The mommy with the stroller in Wal-Mart blocking your path to your favorite box of cereal. Those people.

We've acquired all those elements that make up a parent's lifestyle -- the ones that annoyed me greatly in my youth. After all, who wants to be forced to hear some kid crying, no make that screaming, while you're trying to enjoy a peaceful hour on your lunch break? What kind of person would willingly subject strangers to that?

Impossible to avoid, we're those people with a baby who finds it necessary to make her little presence rudely known at all times. Before Natalie came along, I had zero tolerance for listening to monstrous wails pouring out from children whenever I was out in public. That lack of sympathy has led me to worry about her disturbing others when we decide to step out of the cave and into society.  And speaking of going out in public, I now understand the importance of a mother of a colicky baby venturing out. I know she's tired of feeling (and looking) like a cave woman.

This past Sunday, when I was out in the church hallway rocking Natalie back to sleep, someone asked me, "You know it's ok for children to cry in church, right?" I was trying to avoid being one of those people, but I guess he was trying to tell me it's normal to be one them.

Grocery trips are a true family affair with one of us pushing the stroller while the other pushes the cart. Talk about causing a rolling roadblock down the baby formula aisle! Fortunately, we at least aren't those people who use their stroller as a lethal weapon to cut past slow people in the mall (not yet, anyway). In the mean time, we'll settle for clogging up every aisle on a Saturday morning at a store near you.

Be on the look out for those people. You might just see us in action.

motherhood confessions

Confessions from a new mom:

- I consider it an accomplishment if I manage to shower every other day.
- My hands are often chapped from frequent hand washing to avoid germs.
- I ate dinner tonight in bed with my plate balanced on my left leg and a crying Natalie lying in my right arm.
- I secretly rejoice when Natalie has a poopy diaper when Matt has diaper duty (because it means I missed a dirty one)!
- My first thought every morning when I wake up is, "is she still breathing?" If I wake to her sounds or crying, I immediately feel relieved.
- I'd be embarrassed if anyone I knew saw the inside of our house in its current condition (except my parents -- they've already seen it).
- Our inside Christmas decorations are still up, including the Christmas tree and a few opened gifts underneath.
- Flowers I received the day after Natalie was born are still in the vase on the kitchen counter, exactly where they were placed when we came home from the hospital (and they're now rotting).
- I ask myself nearly every day, "Am I a good mother?"
- When we packed our big suitcase for our February trip to Tennessee, we had to get the suitcase out of the floor (with clothing still in it) from our December trip to Tennessee.
- I love how more polite people seem to be when you are pushing a stroller around. They'll stop so you can cross the street, hold a door open for you, etc.
- When we're out in public and my hair is dirty and crazy and I'm without makeup, I wonder if strangers ask themselves, "how did such a pretty baby come from that woman?"
- I'm thankful God didn't give me twins!

These are a few of my confessions as a new mom with my sleepy baby napping against me. I'm afraid to move from this position in fear of waking her.

Motherhood is far different than I imagined, but I know I will have earned the title of "mom" the first time I hear Natalie say, "I love you, mommy." In the mean time, I'll enjoy continuing to grow into these huge motherhood shoes as I learn to be the best mom I know how to be.

There are things I've accomplished in my lifetime that I'm proud of, but nothing has ever made me so proud as watching Natalie develop. Her favorite thing to do right now is to attempt raising into a sitting position on her own. She gets so frustrated when she can't. I'll never forget how proud she looked when she stood up (with assistance) from a seated position for the first time. That big grin worked its way right into my soul, and I was unbelievably proud of my baby girl who is already trying to be a big girl.

These past few months have had some big ups and downs, but with every smile from that sweet face, I fall deeper and deeper in love. Life will never be the same as it once was before Natalie joined us, but I like this life better. She's a keeper.